she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
