Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
