Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.