Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus