I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.