The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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