lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux