Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.