Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Say something about gay babies.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"