The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
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Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.