Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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  (734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl
  Replies (118) Good night (38438) Bad night (1483)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  (503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez
  Replies (32) Good night (618) Bad night (3344)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand

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  (215): it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand http://tfl.nu/1wqs
  Replies (11) Good night (3934) Bad night (652)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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  (514): It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get.. http://tfl.nu/agd7
  Replies (9) Good night (3485) Bad night (1125)
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  (530): View more from California

  she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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  (530): she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new. http://tfl.nu/z10i
  Replies (6) Good night (3015) Bad night (817)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night

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  (617): Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night http://tfl.nu/g4dq
  Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (2531)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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  (972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv
  Replies (6) Good night (2364) Bad night (590)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder

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  (203): They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder http://tfl.nu/slwo
  Replies (4) Good night (1779) Bad night (828)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.

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  (682): I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery. http://tfl.nu/qxsn
  Replies (4) Good night (2048) Bad night (651)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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  (423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw
  Replies (8) Good night (1664) Bad night (581)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He was uncircumcised

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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  (480): He was uncircumcised (480): It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis http://tfl.nu/js6u
  Replies (15) Good night (1153) Bad night (1425)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS

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  (306): Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/mduw
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (528)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry

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  (315): Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry http://tfl.nu/oid7
  Replies (5) Good night (583) Bad night (256)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  .....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT

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  (512): are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka? (832): .....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT http://tfl.nu/f2zn
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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  (713): I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/qeoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (233)

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