respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER