Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg

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  (508): he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg http://tfl.nu/z4cs
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (2843)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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  (432): He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun" http://tfl.nu/hrdc
  Replies (28) Good night (2775) Bad night (4313)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.

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  (607): Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey. http://tfl.nu/4gnd
  Replies (13) Good night (4463) Bad night (1094)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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  (406): We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase. http://tfl.nu/9rce
  Replies (11) Good night (4149) Bad night (1091)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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  (917): I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant http://tfl.nu/lnj1
  Replies (40) Good night (5023) Bad night (1664)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag

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  (563): Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag http://tfl.nu/f93g
  Replies (3) Good night (2437) Bad night (960)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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  (813): she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by. http://tfl.nu/df84
  Replies (5) Good night (1407) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."

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  (613): We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet." http://tfl.nu/xflq
  Replies (3) Good night (1664) Bad night (853)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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  (250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9
  Replies (18) Good night (1296) Bad night (490)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea

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  (906): Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea http://tfl.nu/gfkd
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (888)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.

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  (979): I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels. http://tfl.nu/it3k
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (474)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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  (785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2
  Replies (2) Good night (1291) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

  (1+44): View more from

  Which pub are you in?

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  (+44): Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon? (1+44): Which pub are you in? http://tfl.nu/p4a0
  Replies (6) Good night (871) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.

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  (971): I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day. http://tfl.nu/yn9t
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.

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  (+44): He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED. http://tfl.nu/pyul
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (551)

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