This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
