So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
