Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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