The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
