You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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