kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
