He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
