I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
