Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
