So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish my penis had a tongue
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
