I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
