Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
