Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just high enough for therapy.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
