we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
