You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
