So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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