Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
