I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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