Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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