dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
