The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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