Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
