You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
