Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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