i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
wow bdsm is so cute
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
