I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
