I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
