I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
