Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So apparently I’m into choking now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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