i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it's like iHOP with fire
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
