Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
