I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Still dying that you shit outside
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
