Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
