Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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