You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize