it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
