I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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