How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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