See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
