How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
