The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
love makes seman taste better
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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