We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
