he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
