I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
