We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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