When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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