I cannot find my penis.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize