what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i out mim tonsoeep
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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