ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
