break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
