miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
