Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
