a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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