I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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