so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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