kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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