lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
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At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?