Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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  (201): i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness. http://tfl.nu/zg7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (593)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  i just google imaged poop.

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  (865): i just google imaged poop. http://tfl.nu/6d8g
  Replies (17) Good night (756) Bad night (2759)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

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  (905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever. http://tfl.nu/wzae
  Replies (126) Good night (23462) Bad night (1865)
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  (310): View more from California

  Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

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  (310): Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3e9c
  Replies (28) Good night (1247) Bad night (5909)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it

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  (954): like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it http://tfl.nu/s684
  Replies (21) Good night (1702) Bad night (3177)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3602) Bad night (1018)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

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  (941): how did the keg end up in the top bunk? http://tfl.nu/zpng
  Replies (11) Good night (2828) Bad night (718)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?

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  (701): Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire? http://tfl.nu/pmju
  Replies (3) Good night (1472) Bad night (2007)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.

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  (937): Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like. http://tfl.nu/1ho6
  Replies (14) Good night (1322) Bad night (3445)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.

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  (406): Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule. http://tfl.nu/1636
  Replies (4) Good night (1199) Bad night (556)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Are you already high?

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  (262): Do I really need this much space in my mouth? (414): Are you already high? http://tfl.nu/waj8
  Replies (10) Good night (1368) Bad night (423)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1282) Bad night (377)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.

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  (402): Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building. http://tfl.nu/eh2u
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..

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  (708): that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs.. http://tfl.nu/9ni1
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (303)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

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  (+44): Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/brfz
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (294)

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