Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

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  (336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices. http://tfl.nu/qbzj
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (664)
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  (949): View more from California

  okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?

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  (949): okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong? http://tfl.nu/d7ju
  Replies (48) Good night (1895) Bad night (4812)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

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  (706): New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie. http://tfl.nu/22gj
  Replies (37) Good night (924) Bad night (2804)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

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  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (10938) Bad night (2048)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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  (+44): i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position http://tfl.nu/45mu
  Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (3201)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

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  (608): The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too http://tfl.nu/q1xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1413) Bad night (1848)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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  (715): I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help. http://tfl.nu/ztsu
  Replies (3) Good night (1442) Bad night (773)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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  (781): We need more drag queens in our life I've decided http://tfl.nu/77cl
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (671)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"

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  (616): He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!" http://tfl.nu/zjl5
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (546)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories

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  (413): Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories http://tfl.nu/hc8i
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (465)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...

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  (731): Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels... http://tfl.nu/6gyu
  Replies (22) Good night (1577) Bad night (829)
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  (949): View more from California

  i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want

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  (949): i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want http://tfl.nu/5io1
  Replies (10) Good night (520) Bad night (758)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.

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  (210): Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me. http://tfl.nu/zs5w
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (385)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.

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  (423): I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover. http://tfl.nu/e91a
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (411)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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  (913): The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay. http://tfl.nu/vu6p
  Replies (0) Good night (750) Bad night (307)

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