Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me