I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
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she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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