I think i peed on brittanys purse
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
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I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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